Yehoshua ben Perachiah and Nitai HaArbeli received
(Torah) from them. Yehoshua ben Perachiah said: "Make yourself a teacher;
acquire a friend; and judge every person favorably."(Ethics
of the Fathers 1:6)
It would seem my recent reading falls into these
categories:
Make
yourself a teacher (aseh lecha rav)
Former President William Clinton made Rabbi Genack his
rabbi. He asserts that although he is a
Southern Baptist, "[Rabbi Genack] has been a trusted guide on matters of
leadership, justice and faith." Rabbi
Genack, a Talmudic scholar, chief executive officer of the Orthodox Union's
Kashruth Division and a congregational rabbi, met Clinton when the former
President began his campaign for the White House. "As their friendship deepened, the rabbi
started sending Clinton brief essays highlighting spiritual insights from the
Bible. Later, at Clinton's request,
[Rabbi] Genack took a more formal approach, also inviting many distinguished
acquaintances to contribute." These
include Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, former Chief Rabbi of the
United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth; Noa Rothman, Yitzchak Rabin's
granddaughter; and noted American rabbis and Jewish scholars.
Okay, not my
favorite book. Maybe it's because I was
a Republican, and there is quite a bit of Bush-bashing. There's also plenty of
political rigmarole, like "it is ironic that President Clinton is often
assaulted by his Republican critics for waffling and changing policy, when his
ability to adjust to new circumstances and political reality, while remaining
true to his basic vision is the mark of real leadership." Maybe it's
because I don't relate to explaining things from a Jewish perspective to a
Baptist. There are some bright
spots: Rabbi Sacks' letter about
"Influence or Power?" was insightful; Jeremy Dauber's discussion of
cities was relevant to Clinton's move to New York. But more than that I think
of the people involved with the Clintons who suffered mysterious deaths: Vince Foster, Mary Mahoney, James McDougal,
Ron Brown, etc. When I read about Queen Esther facing Achashveros, "an
innocent girl, ripped from the bosom of her family, unschooled in the art of
diplomacy, and unacquainted with the intrigues of a royal court," all I
could think of was Monica Lewinsky, the blue dress, and the leader of the free
world saying "I did have a relationship with Miss Lewinsky that was not
appropriate."
Acquire a friend (u'k'ne
lecha chaver)
I thought this
would be a good read for someone moving to a new area, and I was right. The author had 52 "dates" in which
she tried to find a good, local friend with whom to get together
spontaneously. She did some research by
reading books about friendship, and she set herself rules about how she would
meet people. Bersche lives in Chicago,
so she had her pick of a lot of restaurants, social events, etc. Although not religious, she joined a group
for young Jewish leaders. She also took
a cooking class and an improv class at Second City. Bertsche even used "friend
services" in her research.
So what have I
done on my friend quest? I've joined a
book club, I meet a friend for coffee once a month, and I go to a weekly prayer
group. Still on the list: an exercise class, organizing a craft group,
and volunteering at the library. I've
tried to stay in touch with the people in my Ulpan class, and I am blessed with
amazing neighbors who are also very convenient friends.
And judge every person
favorably (v'hevey dan et kol adam l'chaf zchus)
"dan
l'chaf zchus" sometimes translates to "give the benefit of the
doubt."
There are a
few books in this category that are on my reading list:
The Other Side of the Story: Giving People the Benefit of the Doubt --
Stories and Strategies by Yehudis Samet (Artscroll, 1996)
Also by
Yehudis Samet - It Wasn't How It
Seemed: True stories about People Who
Jumped to Conclusions (Shaar Press, 2001)
and Benefit of the Doubt: Breaking the Idol of Certainty by Gregory
A. Boyd (Baker Books, 2013), in which this Christian pastor "invites readers to embrace a
faith that doesn't strive for certainty, but rather for commitment in the midst
of uncertainty. Boyd rejects the idea that a person's faith is as strong as it
is certain. In fact, he makes the case that doubt can enhance faith and that seeking
certainty is harming many in today's church."
But I've also
giving the benefit of the doubt to several books that would not normally be on
my reading list.
The
aforementioned book club has chosen A
Soldier of the Great War by Mark Helprin.
My copy is 860 pages long. It's
about an old man walking on the road with a young factory worker. As they walk, the man tells the story of his
life. Instead of being off put by the
number of pages, the subject matter, or the "My Dinner with
Andre"-like, one long conversation about life format, I decided to give
the book a chance, and I'm really enjoying it.
Koren recently
published Derash Yehonatan: Around the
Year with Rav Yehonatan Eybeshitz by Shalom Hammer. Ravi Yehonatan died in 1764, and Rabbi Hammer
has endeavored to "popularize the teachings of Rav Yehonatan and make them
accessible to a broader audience."
He chose selections that he felt were the most pertinent and poignant. This Rabbi lived in what is now Denmark, had
a disagreement with another rabbi that divided the Jewish community and lived
in the 1700s. I asked myself if there
might be anything in the book that was pertinent and poignant to me. I was pleasantly surprised to find writings
about Jewish activism and "the requirement of every Jew to long to be in
the Land of Israel." Rabbi Hammer
notes that "those who cannot actualize Aliya should at least anticipate
the day when they can join Am Yisrael in their land. Those fortunate enough to live in the land
should appreciate the opportunity given them." My roommate from my freshman year in college was visiting on her most
recent trip of many to Israel. It was
great to see her, someone who loves Israel and shows it through frequent visits
and support, and to appreciate how far we've both come since our freshman year in
college, when making Aliya was a small hope, and I am now fortunate to live in
this beautiful country.