Elul 5776: Blessings and Gifts

Elul is the time in the Jewish calendar when we reflect on the past year and look to where we can improve in the coming year. For this year's Elul reading list, I concentrated on appreciating all the blessings and gifts bestowed upon us by God:

Miriam Adahan points out that It's All a Gift (Though It May Not Seem Like It at First Glance)(Feldheim, 1992). This volume is packed with insights for realizing the gifts we receive, even if they come in the form of opportunities or challenges, are truly for our benefit. One of the most important points is that you cannot be passive in this process. "There is no pill, blessing, charm, herb, therapist, rabbi or doctor that can give you maturity, strength of will, depth of understanding, a loving heart or a hard-working nature. It is your work, and yours alone, day after day, to overcome patterns of negativity which have been programmed into your mind and muscles" (page 326).

Wendy Mogel's The Blessing of a Skinned Knee (Scribner, 2001) is one of the most popular books in the Jewish parenting section of the library. Combining her education and experience in psychology with Jewish wisdom, she showed readers how to instill values and model behavior. Drawing again on her personal experience, Mogel's The Blessing of a B Minus (Scriber, 2010) givesus more of that common sense and steers parents through the teenage years, which are trying for both parent and young adult. As a parent of adolescents, besides validating my challenges and explaining why it is important for kids to experience failure and pitfalls, the chapter on "The Courage to Let Them Go" was particularly helpful.

In Moe Mernick's The Gift of Stuttering (Mosaica Press, 2016), he chronicles his challenges with fluency. Besides speech therapy and relaxation techniques, he also explored spirituality, realizing that God had given him this specific challenge for a reason. Seeing that another famous Moshe also had issues with speech, Mernick flourished when he realized that stuttering was just a small part of a total package. "After becoming comfortable with who we are, we begin to exude a healthy dose of self-confidence -- whether while on a date or at a business meeting or social gathering. People are attracted to that. After all, if we accept ourselves, it only follows that others will accept us too." Mernick is a successful businessman and educator.




On May 8, 2001, 13-year-old Koby Mandell and Yosef Ish-Ran were brutally murdered by Arab terrorists in a wadi a short distance from their home in Tekoa (they had to be identified by their dental records). I cannot imagine how a mother can cope with a loss of this magnitude. Sherri Mandell's The Blessing of a Broken Heart (Toby Press, 2003) was a 2004 National Jewish Book Award Winner. In it, she tells how she dealt with this tragedy and how it changed her. Instead of wallowing in sadness and anger, the family established a foundation that includes a camp for bereaved children and orphans whose parents or siblings have been killed by terrorists; women's healing retreats where groups and widows and bereaved mothers can attend workshops and take a break; family healing retreats, and other therapeutic sessions. A fundraiser for these activities is "Comedy for Koby," where the audience is entertained by a variety of comedians.


While many aspects of the book were very sad, there was also a beauty in embracing the sadness and moving past it:

"When you touch broken hearts together, a new heart emerges, one that is more open and compassionate, able to touch others, a heart that seeks God. That is the blessing of a broken heart."

"Pain is like carrying a heavy barbell in your backpack. You can't go as freely as you used to. But the more you carry it, the stronger you get."

Although not a Jewish book, The Gentle Art of Blessing by Pierre Pradervand (Atria, 2009) shows

"that the practice of blessing has the power to unleash tangible benefits into every aspect of your life." He draws on many traditions and shows how the practice of blessing can shift your attitudes and outlook. The chapters explore ideas like positive expectations, unconditional love and universal harmony, and at the end of each chapter are some questions for thought. While much of the book centers on a rather broad interpretation of tikkun olam, Pradervand also reminds us to be loving and forgiving with yourselves with the words of Zephaniah: "The Lord thy God is in your midst, the Mighty One Who will save. He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will be silent with His love; He will be joyful over you with glad song" (3:17).


Wishing you a year filled with blessing and gifts and the discernment to appreciate them ALL.

Happy Reading!

2016 JWWS

Once again, Tamar Ansh and Esther Heller put together a packed day for the Jerusalem Women Writers' Seminar. Again, a beautiful relaxation corner sponsored by Menucha Publishers with those delicious little bite-sized pastries and an assortment of teas and coffee. Again, some nice swag from Israel Bookshop. What is amazing is that the program was filled with lively speakers and interesting information and very different from last year. After a Dvar Torah by Esther Leah Avner, an "experienced" author and educator, Shifrah Devorah Witt talked about "Making the Most Out of Your Writing Time!" Her suggestions are applicable to anyone who works at home: focus - no laundry, no checking Facebook (and then wasting an hour), setting boundaries with family.

Next were Yael Mermelstein, Sarah Shapiro and Shoshana Schwartz. While Yael suggested adding tags and beats, Shoshana suggested getting rid of the tags and the beats. Sarah Shapiro asked "Is There Such a Thing as Non-fiction?" Three different authors, three different styles, three different processes.


My favorite speaker of the day was Sherri Mandell, author of The Blessing of a Broken Heart, a 2004 National Jewish Book Award Winner. After reading this one, I felt like I knew her because she shared her most intimate thoughts and feelings after the murder of her son Koby and his friend Yosef Ish-Ran in 2001. Sherri discussed her new book The Road to Resilience (Toby Press, 2016) and how to apply the "Seven C's" to keep writing well.  A witty and engaging speaker, she described the "pavement" of Chase, Community, Choice, Creativity, Commemoration, Consecration, and Celebration.  These are all augmented by Curiosity. Through these steps, almost any journey, especially grief and writing, can become almost spiritual and expand you.

There was a Meet the Press Panel with questions and answers for those interested in submitting their work to the weekly Jewish magazines and newspapers.

For those who could not be there in person, these sessions were videotaped and are available (for a fee) through Torah Anytime.

Chana Levitan spoke about how she "accidentally wrote a best-selling book" (I Only Want to Get Married Once, Gefen (2010) and Grand Central Life and Style (2013)).

Over lunch, I got to talk with some of the "celebrities" of Orthodox Publishing: Yaffa Ganz, Libi Astaire and Chaya Baila Lieber.  I also had the pleasure of presenting Miriam Zakon with a certificate for her Sydney Taylor Notable Book, Floating Minyan of Pirates' Cove (Judaica Press, 1986). Yes, the book was recognized 30 years ago, but there was no internet and no cell phones, so Miriam was never notified about the honor. Our little ceremony also gave me a chance to look at Miriam Stark Zakon's extensive back list of books authored and/or edited. I'm hoping to be able to present some more certificates to Miriam (and Yaffa, Libi and Chaya Baila) in the next 30 years!

Between the topics and presenters it was hard to choose which workshops to attend. I learned a lot in Avigail Sharer's "Step Back in Time: How to Bring the Past to Life in Your Fiction." Sharer writes under the pen name Leah Gebber, and has many fans due to her articles and stories that are published in Mispacha Magazine - particularly Sisters Under Siege. Sharer handed out pictures of artifacts - coins, articles of clothing, etc., and asked the participants to think of five questions about the item. Then, we were asked to take one question and try to answer it. Much like "Ode to a Grecian Urn," a whole story can develop by looking at an object.

I picked up a very important book -- Healing from the Break (Menucha Publishers, 2016). While there are many volumes in your local Jewish bookstore about trying to repair a relationship or the laws (halacha) of divorce, there is nothing available that provides "stories, inspiration and guidance for anyone touched by divorce." Insightful and sensitive, the book looks at a challenging situation from many perspectives. Healing from the Break is the "frum divorce blog" and includes articles and resources.

As I left the seminar, I was blessed with that beautiful interplay of sun and clouds that seems to make Jerusalem glow.